The Bonetti Diaries

Mamma Mia, Here We Don''t Go Again. Wot''s happening with the Dees ? Are we trying to win the Scottish Football Hell or trying to get regulated ? I go away for 5 minutes and we get humped at home by the I Presumes. We were losing at half time thanks to a goal from Stick It - why did Rayne Farrell not put something in Livvy''s half time cup of tea. Maybe we would have won if we''d managed to doctor Livingstone. I''m away for 2 weeks trekkiing up the Himalayas . I thought if would be an easy place Tibet (wot a Nepalling joke , I hear you say). Plenty of goats gambling on the slopes. Anyways, I go into the local bookies - plenty of Hills here but unfortunately no Lad brokes (but buggers can''t be choosers as they say). I stick 5 million Tibetan lire on the Dee to go to the summit of the SFL - met Sherpa Tensing and his dog K9 while I was there. When I heard the result it was Sphincter Tensing for me, I can insure you. I become short breathed and light headed - and it was noth ing to do with lack of atmposphere. Apparently, at the end of the ninety there was more boos at Dens than you''d find in Gazza''s fridge freezer. Anyways, things got even worse when the news from Pittodrie filtered through - Sir Craig Leaveitout and his Trampolines wouldn''t have expected to get 3 points there - always one of the hardest places to go (that''s why they''re building a ring road after all). So its a big one next week when the Dees take on the Perth Daintees. Can''t afford to lose that one and give the bragging rights to the farmers(there I am going on about gambling again - when I get married, I''ll have to settle up before I settle down).Anyways, that''s me signing off from base camp . Hope to get back to you after the big local derby in better mood. To get rid of my frustration, I think I''ll go and verbally abuse a Llama.Ciao, Benny and Javier Nice Day. Movano.