The Bonetti Diaries

Bonetti Diaries 3 DUTCH - GRAND PRIX IN THEIR SIGHTS Arrivederci, football fannies, Movano Bonetti here again to give you my low down on Euro 2008. Now that the second round of games are done and dusty, some favourites are starting to emerge. The Dutch of course are top of most people's lists after humping France and Italy . Total football they call it. So many stars but the real surprise packet for me is Wesley Sniper. Some of the finest Michael Jackson plastic surgery has not only changed his colour but also made him look 30 years younger - add to this a change of nationality and the former action hero is now one of Marco Van Basten's main men. France have been very poor - of course any team that relies on a no mark like Florent Malouda (affectionately known as "The Crap Freddie Daquin") must be suspect. Germany disappointed against Croatia but still must be one of the favourites ,one of their star men already being Clemens Fritz . Not many of you will know this, but Clemens' surname was abbreviated from one of the great DFC songs of all time - "Fritz A Grand Old Team To Play For". Mind you, the most important event of the past few days was not Euro 2008, it had to be Wayne and Colin's matrimonials on the Italian Riviera. Very low key affair but of course OK Magazine paid millions of pounds stirling for the right to photograph and report on the wedding. Its a 3 project deal, I believe, with the glossy mag getting the rights to also cover the divorce and Wayne's next metatarsal operation. Anyways, I'm off to see the new film about the Forfar supporting tractor driver who spilled his load all over the Murraygait - "Secks In The City". Ciao. Movano.