The Bonetti Diaries

Arrividerci my friends. Movano Bonetti here - you might not know me, but you'll remember my uncles Ivano and Dario who were privileged to manage your famous club during the period when you ran up debts of £23.5 million. Anyways, enough about the good old days. During the time my uncles stayed in their simple log cabin in Paper Dam (being football people,they couldn't resist living beside a village called Fowlis), I came over from Italia on many occasions to sample the culture of your lovely city. Many people do not realise that Dundee and my hometown of Venice share many similarities - sitting in a sidewalk cafe in the City Square sipping cafe latte reminded me big time of doing the same in St Mark's Square (although in Venice you don't have to play hop scotch around the sick stains before you reach your table). Also, strolling along the streets of my hometown bartering with the street vendors could be replicated if you walked along the Murraygate .Mind you, buying any of the street sellers wares in Dundee was liable to earn you a 6 month stretch in HMP Perth. Anyways, I ,like all you other people out there in football land, have been trying to find things to do between the end of the season and the start of Euro 2008. I find that there's always something to do that I've put off doing between august and may - things like tidying up the garden, cleaning out my sock drawer , speaking to the wife...... But ,just when I despaired of finding anything remotely interesting or meaningful to fill up my time, salvation was at hand - that's right, Britain's Got Talent ! Fantabulous or what ? Underwater hang gliders, trumpet playing geese, rabbits that knit - endless hours of entertainment. More fun than Lee Wilkie in a penalty shoot out. Anyways, I hope to meet you again soon. In the meantime, I've thought of a great idea for a variety show. It features an ex Dundee striker,now assistant manager of Partick Sizzle , who has 5 inch long toe nails - Its called Britton's Got Talons. Ciao. .